Just got back from my ultrasound!  Gotta say…once “wanded”….I just closed my eyes and waited for the news that my eggs were not growing.  This was not to be the case, however!  They are looking “very nice”, according to my nurse, and I will take “very nice” any day of the week.  Ol’ troublesome lefty was willing to work with us today.  She could see 3 good size follicles (the fluid-filled sacs holding the eggs) @ 14.52 mm, 14.69 mm, and 15.98 mm (the leader of the pack)-and a few under 10 mm.  The right side showed 7 follicles @ 14.5, 14, 14.92, 11.8, 13.48, 10, and 9.  The little ones might not catch up, but we have a great chance of getting 8-10 eggs.  On the day of retrieval, most likely Sat or Sunday, anything over 15 mm has a good chance of containing a viable egg, or so they say.  Follicles generally grow 1-2 mm per day.  So, they are basically waiting for some to reach the 18-20 mm range, and then it is GO TIME. I would have like to have seen a few more eggs, but I will take what I can get with a smile on my face!

My uterine lining was a 11 mm (wanted to see over 8mm) and starting to take on the triple striped pattern that the doctors covet.  That means it is growing nice and fluffy for the embryo stick in.  So now I am just waiting for the final word that my E2 levels didn’t plummet-that dreaded 3 o’clock phone call.  But the sun is shining, my eggs are growing, and things are looking way up!

So today is my first day of getting nervous…really nervous….that something/anything/everything is going to go wrong.  My blood test showed my E2 levels leveling out.  Yesterday was around 550.  Today around 570.  It should have jumped up ALOT higher than that.  As in getting close the the quadruple digits.    My nurse explained that sometimes when you add the 3rd medication, the Ganirelix, the E2 levels can “sputter out” for a day.  Ganirelix is the one that keeps you from ovulating, so that makes sense. Supposedly (Hopefully!) they will begin to rise again.  They doubled my dosage of Menapur as a line of defense against the Ganirelix E2 suppression effect.  So now 100 Follistim, 150 Menapur, and Ganirelix. Best case scenario-the levels will be on target tomorrow.  Worst case scenario-my body is not responding to the medication, my levels are bottoming out, and the cycle will be cancelled.  I believe it will be the best case scenario…but I am still super anxious.

When I began this process,  I didn’t anticipate what a roller coaster EACH DAY would be.  I figured I would take the meds each day, and then we would find out the day of retrieval how many eggs we got.  Not much too worry about in the in-between. Instead, each day you get new results, things are tweaked, nerves are shot, and then you have to hold out hope for the next day’s visit.  Things can change in an instant!  The day begins to center around that 3pm phone call from the nurse.  Tomorrow I go for another E2 draw and an ultrasound, so we will REALLY get to see how things are progressing.  So keep hoping and praying for us that we see some good >13 mm follicles and a strong e2 level! I am not ready for this crazy train to end!  For now, this human pin cushion is going to bed.  Tomorrow can’t get here soon enough!

Hi!  Today was the 7th day of my IVF cycle and will be my 6th round of shots.  This morning I went for an ultrasound and blood draw.  The ultrasound uses a vaginal wand (not an “over the belly ultrasound”) to try to get the most complete view of the ovaries.  The images of my right ovary showed 6-7 follicles (which contain the eggs), all ranging between 8.5 mm and 11 mm.  Right on target..and it is good that they are all so close in size.  Sometimes you get a “leader” that grows much faster than the others.  That one gets close to ovulation size while all the others lag behind…gets the doctors all wringing their hands.  But all of mine are all in a close bunch. The whole process was simple and painless.

This was not to be the case with my left side.  I don’t know what it is, but my left side has always struggled-with EVERYTHING.  My bones are smaller on that side, any medical issue I have ever had- from eye problems to foot problems-has always been on my left, and my left tube is the one that had to be removed.  Its the Curse of the Lefties.  The ultrasound on my left ovary proved to be no different.  As soon as she moved the wand to that side, I started wincing.  Maybe there is left over scar tissue or bruising…but MAN it was tender-and hiding.  No matter how she poked, prodded, or stirred-she could not get a clear image of the left ovary.  After about 10 minutes of trying, I finally asked her for a break.  I went to the bathroom, cried (Go easy on me, my emotions are ALL over the place), gritted my teeth, bounced up and down in an effort to jiggle things around, and went back to the stirrups.  Eventually, she was able to see at least 3-4 with at least 1 around 10 mm. Thank God it was finally over. My and my left ovary are going to have a serious come to Jesus meeting before the next ultrasound…….

My uterine lining was now 8 mm, which is right on target.  My E2 level was 552. It was 179.3 last time, and they like to see that it has at least doubled.  I will stay on the same med protocol (100 Follistim/75 Menapur), but now a third shot will be invited to this lovely party-Ganirelix.  Ganirelix keeps me from ovulating too early.  Early ovulation=cycle cancellation.  So as the follicles get bigger, they add Ganirelix into the rotation to keep the eggs from releasing.  I go in for another E2 draw tomorrow.  We are definately getting close!  I predict the egg retrieval will be Sunday!!!! Lefty…you better get in line!!!

So things are still moving along.  We upped the dosage of the Follistim to 100 last night.  About three hours after the injections, I had severe cramping in my upper abdomen.  The pain was localized to right under my rib cage.  I don’t know if it was a side effect of the medication, but it passed after about an hour.  Ovaries are starting to hurt a little, but that is to be expected.  I definitely feel fatigued.  Yesterday, I cleaned the house all day, which led to a lot more bending and twisting than I think I realized.  Towards the end of the day, I could really feel it.  Today, I’ve pulled an all out 30 Rock marathon on the couch.  The dogs and I have hardly moved-justified by a rainy, dreary day outside.  It was awesome!

My husband, however, seems to be getting more and more nervous as we get closer to the retrieval, and some his actions are a little out of the ordinary.  See, my husband is a data collector.  He likes to get as much information as possible, do as much research as possible, and explore as many sources information as possible.  Having exhausted the Internet, doctors, and our circle of friends and family, he has now started approaching random women, in places like Walmart or the pharmacy, and asking if they have ever been pregnant.  If they have been, he asks them questions about their pregnancy, complications, and ways they handled it.  I can only imagine scrolling the pharmacy aisle for Nyquil and having some random guy approach me and ask if I have ever been pregnant!  WOW!  I told you this infertility mess can make you a little Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Apparently, however, he has come across some very nice ladies that have been willing to share their experiences (as well as some who have told him to get lost).  Crazily enough, many of them have had fertility issues as well.  Some even using the same fertility center as us!  This has led to my husband coming home with armloads of new supplements, vitamins, concerns, and theories.  So now our little vitamin shelf is  overflowing a multitude of supposed cure-alls for boosting our chances.  Waaaay to many for me to possibly take.  Each woman also had advice for him on how he could best support me during this process and what he could do to help me along the way.  So now he is making lists and plans- gearing up to for what is to come.  I just listen and smile-meanwhile giggling to myself at the mental picture and thankful I have a husband who is so caring, concerned, and willing to go to great lengthss to make sure this process goes as smoothly as possible.  And I want to send a little shout out to all those angel ladies willing to take time out of their day (or night) to patiently share their stories and advice with my nervous husband…..Y’all are awesome!

So, the next time you make that late night Walmart run for the latest installment of the Twilight Saga and a man approaches you asking questions about pregnancy, don’t fret.  Its not a weirdo…its just my wonderful, wacky husband…trying to get through this the best way he knows how-by trying to help me.

I went to the clinic today for the blood draw to check E2 Levels.  They want it at around 200 to 250.  If it is a lot higher than that, it means you are responding too much to the medication.  THe concern here is that on can get Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (hyperlinked to Wiki page), a painful condition which can cause hospitalization and cycle cancellation if severe.  If the e2 levels are too low, you are not responding to the medication enough.  If less than 75, the chances for a successful IVF cycle or pregnancy significantly decrease.  So your doctor does a delicate dance of trying to push your body with medication enough to produce lots of good eggs, but not so much that your system hyperstimulates.

My levels were at 178.3, just shy of the perfect 200.  This is no big deal at all, it just translates into an increase in the dosage of the injections.  My medication protocol is very conservative at this point.  I was on 75 menapur and 75 follistim.  On fertility forums (a great resource and support network for women going through this procedure)  I have seen women taking as high as 600 follistim.  Such high dosages generally correlate to issues surrounding egg quality (indicated by an AMH or Anti-Mullerian Hormone test)  and egg reserve (# of eggs you have left)-neither of which of are my particular issues.  As far as we know, my issue is purely mechanical-bad tubes-not hormonal.  So my medication protocol started out as more conservative to lower the risk of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome.  With my levels on day five being just shy of the 200, my doctor has upped my Follistim dosage to 100 and kept my Menapur dosage at 75.  We will continue this particular protocol tonight and tomorrow night, then I will return on Monday for another E2 and ultrasound….we will get to see how many of these bad boys are actually cookin’!  THAT I am excited about!!!!

Today is day 4.  The shots have being going good so far!  Both shots are to make lots and lots of those awesome eggs grow.  Definitely starting to feel some of the side effects.  It feels like I am carrying a bag of marbles on either side.  Not painful, just slightly uncomfortable and twingy.  The right side is acting up a lot more than my left, but honestly they could tell me to put my hand in a meat grinder-and I would do it with a smile on me face.

Here is another kicker….My doctor recommends not twisting, bending, or picking up anything over 5 pounds.  When I first received this medical advice tidbit, I didn’t think much of it.  Overwhelmed with all the information we were getting, this statement kinda slipped to the bottom of the pile.  But 5 POUNDS!!!! REALLY! I drink cups of coffee that weigh more than 5 pounds!  Well, not anymore-caffeine is on the banned list, but I do fill my token Handee Hugo’s Large Coffee Cup with water to trick myself into THINKING I am having my traditional morning cup of coffee.  Other things that I now realized weigh more than five pounds:  my favorite pair of boots, my sling bag that holds all this lovely paperwork from the doctor’s office, the large casserole I put in the oven tonight, that puppy that came to visit us at the office today-the list goes on!  5 POUNDS!

Tomorrow I go in for more blood work to see if my E2 levels are at least 200.  I wish there was an ultrasound so I could see how these little marbles are coming along, but that will have to wait until Monday.  Fingers crossed!!!!

So along the way, my husband and I have done some “crazy” (unless they had worked!) things to make this baby thing happen.   Now at the time, these were approached with utter seriousness- that “THIS will DEFINATELY work!!!” type mentality.  Looking back, however, some of them were quite humorous-or possibly ingenious and creative, for some of our wierd and wacky theories actually resulted in some improvement.  So for all you hopefuls and skeptics, when faced with the challenge of infertility, I recommomend trying ANYTHING once!  You never know what will be your magic combination.  Without further ado, I present the first entry of our special gag reel of some of our most, let’s say, interesting attempts at conquering our infertility issues. 

1) Pineapple cores by the bucket load– Apparently, the rumor is that pineapple cores, not the pleasant juicy part, help with implantation. For those of you wondering about implantation, after an egg is fertilized (generally within the fallopian tube) it floats around for a couple of days before finally implanting somewhere in the uterus.  This usually happens 6-11 days after ovulation.  Here is a lovely photo depiction, which also shows all the stages the fertilized egg goes through (everything that takes place in the fallopian tube in the picture will take place outside my body during IVF) ….. 

So THEY say, and I never have quite been able to pin down who THEY are, that pinepple cores help with the implantation process.  The word on the street is that pineapple contains bromelain, an enzyme that helps with implantation.  Now, nowhere could I find any actual research that proved this true, but did that prevent me from making a back ally deal with the Harris Teeter guy for all his pineapple cores?  Absolutely not.  See infertility becomes like a crack addiction- you’ll do just about anything to get that next fix, that positive pregnancy test.  Even if that means wolfing down those stringy, bitter, too-tough-to-chew pinapple cores.  And wolf them down I did-with relish and a side of bring it on.  In the end, the pineapple was not my magic ambrosia, but hey….some people swear by ’em.  And to you, oh pineapple core enthusiast, I say “Wolf on!”…… and “Sorry for your stomach ulcers!”

We got the ALL CLEAR!  YIPEE!!!!  My morning clinic visit went great.  The ultrasound showed no cysts and a my uterine lining was at 4 mm (looking for between 3-5 mm).  My E2 levels were at 34 pg/ml, which is perfect.  I could also see all the “potential” follicles that will most likely become the eggs that are retrieved.  See, near the beginning of your period, there are a certain number of small follicles that have the potential to be “the one” that grows large and releases an egg during that next cycle.  Eventually, one is primed for ovulation, and the other follicles disintegrate.  The ovarian stimulants I will be taking make it so none of the follicles disintegrate and all grow into “ovulators”.  I had 6 potentials on the right and 4 potentials on the left.  A “great number” according to the nurse, and the meds will most likely make even more develop.  So, needless to say, we are off to a great start!

Just took my first to shots, both in my upper arm.  Menapur and Follistim, which stimulate follicle development.   My husband did great with the administration, and has even set up a very well organized “Medication Station”.  The Menapur burned like crazy. The Follistim was a breeze.  That will continue for the next 7-10 days.  I will go in on Sat for some more blood work to make sure my E2 levels are rising.  Feels good to have gotten started.

Creepy fact of the day:  Follistim is made from genetically modified Chinese hamster ovary cells.  So I basically just injected hamsters….gross.

Okay!  So we are officially in our first IVF cycle now!  Period started this morning-so that may explain the massive headache last night.  Earlier than we were expecting, which is good considering patience is not my best virtue.  We head into the clinic at 8 am tomorrow for the first of MANY ultrasounds in the days to come.  Tomorrow is referred to as the baseline ultrasound. The purpose of the baseline is to check for any ovarian cysts or other complications.  Cysts=delayed or no cycle, depending on severity, so lets keep our fingers crossed that they are a no show.  The hormone level they check is my estradiol, or E2, levels.  The levels should be <50 pg/ml. Low levels are good, as research indicate low estradiol levels correlate with a better response to the ovarian stimulation medication. High levels indicate the potential presense of a cyst or diminished ovarian reserve (lack of good quality eggs).  I also get my finalized medication protocol with all my stuff laid out for me over the month. Shots begin tomorrow as well!!!

Tomorrow is a big day!  It is finally starting to hit me that we are doing this!  Someone asked me today if I was scared or nervous.  No.  I feel hopeful, positive, like I am about to get on a ride that might take me somewhere amazing.  It might not….but it might.   There is a reason to have hope.  I was scared 6 months ago when we didn’t know what was wrong, when everyone was telling us that there was nothing wrong.  Yet months dragged on and still nothing happened for us.  During this time,  I felt lost, like I was wandering around in the woods where no one could give me direction.  I once told my husband during that time that I would rather just be told that we couldn’t have children than continue fumbling around in the dark-wondering, desperately wishing.  At least then we could move on, move forward, dream new dreams.  The unknown wore my soul to the bone.  But now we have a plan, a map, a light to guide us somewhere.    We made it out of the woods….we KNOW what the issues are and we know what we have to do to get around it.  And knowledge is power-a reason to hope, and thats all I needed.  So heres to day Day 1!