I am now in what us infertility people call the two-week wait, or 2WW.  The 2WW is that chunk of time where you can not do anything except wait for enough time to pass to see if you were successful or unsuccessful.  I can tell you from experience, the wait can be hell!   Only a little over a week left to go! Or, in other words, and eternity!  My beta blood test will be Friday, March 16th, which tests for positive pregnancy. My Doc recommends taking it as easy as possible during this time.  I, of course, used this as an opportunity to take the week off of work and just relax.  Or more like pretend to relax to cover my intense desire to pace tread paths into the carpet.  My doctor asks his patients to try to remain in bed for three days after the transfer.  Honestly, I was so exhausted from the month’s adventures that I slept on and off for most of it.  Now, rested and stir crazy, I am trying to keep my mind occupied and entertained.  Here are some of my tactics…

• I have read the entire Hunger Game Trilogy-a book a day.  I must say, they were better than I expected.  Cannot wait for the movie!
• Thank God for Netflix!  After cruising through as much 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation as I could handle, I am now engrossed in Sons of Anarchy.  Gotta love a good biker gang drama!
• I am playing about 30 Word with Friends games simultaneously on my IPAD.  One of the best inventions to arise in the past year-at least for those of us on bed rest.
• Mango flavored Haagen Dazs sorbet- its like a tidbit of tropical paradise.  The best part…you can eat a whole pint and be confident you will still fit into your pajama jeans the next week.
• Speaking of….I should give a shout out to Pajama Jeans here.  Thank you, pajama jeans, for not only being super comfortable, but also allowing go ninja style out in public in what I slept in the night before…..
• Crocheting, crocheting, crocheting….
• Catching up with all my friends on the phone. You know, those long conversations you never have time for during your normal life, but now I got NOTHING but time.  Good times!
• Online Infertility forums and support groups.  I highly suggest this to women going through infertility treatments.  Each month has its own kind of “thread” of women going through IVF from all over the country.  You keep up with each other, post stories, post questions, answer questions, get support, discuss experiences, and really develop a group that is cheering for you the whole way.
• Jeopardy tournaments with husband.  These are the highlight of my day because I beat him EVERY time. 😉

Things like this have made the days pass as quickly as possible.  The weather is beautiful and sunny, so I like to pull up a chair, read my books, and watch my dogs play in the kiddie pool.  All in all, it has been a pretty good week 1!  Now, on to week 2!  Any suggestions???? A flash forward button maybe?

So, if you guys remember, 6 of my eggs were fertilized and two embryos were put back into me on Friday.  Where, might you ask, did the other four go?  Well, they stayed in the culture to see if any of them would make it to the 5 day blastocyst stage.  If they should make it, they would be frozen for me to use on my next try (if this one does not work).  The beauty of the frozen embryo transfer (FET) is that you don’t have to do all those nasty shots, blood draws, ultrasounds, and retrievals.  During an FET cycle, you take some pills and then they transfer them back on the appropriate day.  Soooooo much easier!

Well, our embryologist didn’t have too much hope that any of our remaining four would make it to the five day stage.  See, growing in the culture is not as easy as growing in the uterus, so the embryos often just stop.  Since the highest quality embryos were put back into me, he felt the ones that were left didn’t have too great of a chance.

I guess he doesn’t know what fighters our little guys (or girls) are!  I called this morning fully prepared to get the word that none had made it too freeze.  He told me that as of yesterday (day 5) the answer was “No”, but they had given them one more night to see if any magic happened.  He put me on hold and ran down to the lab to give them one last look.  Like I said, I was already prepared for bad news, so I sat on hold playing Word with Friends until he returned to the phone.  After a few minutes, he returned and I was struck by the surprise in his voice.  “Well, things have really turned around!  You have TWO embryos that made it to blastocyst stage and look good to freeze!” Shocked, all I could say was, “That is AWESOME!”  One is a grade 3 and one is a grade 2. So we have two snow babies, which is what they are called in the infertility lingo.  Snow babies, frosties, snow angels, snow flakes….you get the snow drift.

I am over the moon with this unexpected news!  Our little embryos really beat the odds.        Just like their mom and dad…..

Today was transfer!  When we got to the clinic at 8:30 am, we met with the embryologist, and he showed us pictures of our best embryos.  The two 4-cells had divided perfectly into an 8 cell and a 7 cell, and one had even started to compact towards blastocyst.  So amazing!  Here are the pictures…These are actually OUR embryos.  Little combos of me and my husband.  How cool  is that!  The other 4 are still growing, but the embryologist was not sure if they would make it to the 5 day stage or not.  He was very happy with the quality and structure of the two we implanted today.

The procedure was quick and painless. This may have been due to the lovely Valium they instruct you to take an hour before the procedure.  The doctors say it relaxes the cervix, but I think they just want all us crazy patients to be chilled out.

They ask that you have a full bladder, so of course I chugged about a gallon of water-quickly blurring the line between “able to hold it” and “gotta go RIGHT NOW!”.  Other than that the transfer was easy.  First you go into the transfer room and your embryos are in an controlled incubator.  They let you look at them under a microscope.  My husband, who is a scientist to the core, thoroughly enjoyed this whole process.  Then, its on to the table for me. Both the doctor and the embryologist are in the room for the procedure.  First, the doctor performs an ultrasound while the embryologist places the embryos into the catheter.  The ultrasound just checks to make sure the uterine lining looks good (He said mine looked really great), and to check to make sure there are no signs of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome.  Once given the all clear, they insert the speculum, which is that 1800’s torture device-like  contraption they use at every gynecologist’s appointment.  Then they insert catheter through the opening of the cervix and into the uterus.  At this point, you can see everything on the ultrasound.  The doctor shows you on the screen where he is going to place the embryos and then BOOM…there they are!  Everyone leaves and you lay on the table for a while-I listened to peaceful music-and then you are outta there.  Coolest part-the embryologist chased us down to give us the petri dish the embryos had grown inside.  He said, “I wanted to give you this! It might be your baby’s first crib.”  How awesome is that! Plus-all the nurses came to give me a hug and wish me luck on the way out.  If you can’t tell, I LOVE my fertility clinic.  Having been at an awful one for two years, I truly appreciate what it feels like to be at a clinic where the staff is competent and cares about you.

So now I am to remain in bed for at least three days.  This is something I can TOTALLY do! 🙂  During that time, those embryos will continue to grow and divide.  Apparently, the uterus is like a peanut butter/jelly sandwich.  The walls are the bread and everything else, including the lining, is like a peanut butter and jelly.  Somewhere, our embryos-those long-awaited for combos of me and my soulmate-are stuck in that gooey goodness.   Science has done all it can and now it us up to fate, destiny, and God on how this thing plays out. For now, we just hope and pray that in a couple of days they lock in and implant. I think I might sleep for a week!  But first…I think I’ll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich 😉

Whew!!! Today was by far the most nerve-racking “wait for the phone call” experience of the whole process. So I will not torture you how I was tortured. Here is my fertilization report on how our little embryos are doing (hint…I am thrilled and happy ;))….

Out of the 8 eggs they took out of me, 7 were mature enough to fertilize.  Out of those 7, 6 fertilized through ICSI with my husband’s fresh not frozen sample (He was thrilled about that).  All six are dividing and growing.  Currently there are….

• 2 5-cell embryos
• 2 4-cell embryos
• 1 6-cell embryo
• 1 2-cell embryo

The two 4 cell are what my embryologist called “the gold standard”.  Embryos get graded to to health, quality, uniformity, structure, and a lot of other stuff.  Of the two 4-cell embryos, one is a grade 4 (the highest), and the other is a grade 3+.  Here is a little visual of a similar embryo at this stage (Not mine)…..

Some of the other ones are Grade 3.  He doesn’t think the 2 cell will make it. So here is the deal…

Tomorrow they will transfer the 2 best looking embryos back into me.  That means I am doing a 3 day transfer instead of a 5.  He will then let the remaining 4 sit until 5 days.  If they make it to the blastocyst stage, they will be frozen to implant at a later date if this cycle doesn’t work (or for baby number 2).  He said we could transfer 2 or 3, but the idea of triplets causes me to get light-headed.  By tomorrow,  the embryos to be transferred most likely will have divided to 8 cells and look something like this….

I go to the clinic tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning. Both our little guys will be gently placed in the uterus to implant.   I am then taking the next week off work and am absolutely planning to stay in bed for the next 5 days! And then it is two weeks until I know if this has worked.   I can’t describe how blessed I feel to have made it this far.  I feel like I have been through a BATTLE.  This has by far been the most emotionally and physically demanding experiences of my life.  I have had around 45 shots, 10 blood draws, 4 botched IV attempts, 8 vaginal ultrasounds, a seizing bladder, an electric beach ball, and am looking forward to two more weeks worth of shots.  My body is bruised with puncture wounds from ass to wrist and collapsed veins. I am swollen, bloated, and exhausted.  I have cried more in the past 2 weeks than my whole life combined (give me a break-Im pumped full of 4 times the hormones).  And all I can say is that if this does actually works, nothing will have ever been more worth it.