So, if you guys remember, 6 of my eggs were fertilized and two embryos were put back into me on Friday.  Where, might you ask, did the other four go?  Well, they stayed in the culture to see if any of them would make it to the 5 day blastocyst stage.  If they should make it, they would be frozen for me to use on my next try (if this one does not work).  The beauty of the frozen embryo transfer (FET) is that you don’t have to do all those nasty shots, blood draws, ultrasounds, and retrievals.  During an FET cycle, you take some pills and then they transfer them back on the appropriate day.  Soooooo much easier!

Well, our embryologist didn’t have too much hope that any of our remaining four would make it to the five day stage.  See, growing in the culture is not as easy as growing in the uterus, so the embryos often just stop.  Since the highest quality embryos were put back into me, he felt the ones that were left didn’t have too great of a chance.

I guess he doesn’t know what fighters our little guys (or girls) are!  I called this morning fully prepared to get the word that none had made it too freeze.  He told me that as of yesterday (day 5) the answer was “No”, but they had given them one more night to see if any magic happened.  He put me on hold and ran down to the lab to give them one last look.  Like I said, I was already prepared for bad news, so I sat on hold playing Word with Friends until he returned to the phone.  After a few minutes, he returned and I was struck by the surprise in his voice.  “Well, things have really turned around!  You have TWO embryos that made it to blastocyst stage and look good to freeze!” Shocked, all I could say was, “That is AWESOME!”  One is a grade 3 and one is a grade 2. So we have two snow babies, which is what they are called in the infertility lingo.  Snow babies, frosties, snow angels, snow flakes….you get the snow drift.

I am over the moon with this unexpected news!  Our little embryos really beat the odds.        Just like their mom and dad…..

Today was transfer!  When we got to the clinic at 8:30 am, we met with the embryologist, and he showed us pictures of our best embryos.  The two 4-cells had divided perfectly into an 8 cell and a 7 cell, and one had even started to compact towards blastocyst.  So amazing!  Here are the pictures…These are actually OUR embryos.  Little combos of me and my husband.  How cool  is that!  The other 4 are still growing, but the embryologist was not sure if they would make it to the 5 day stage or not.  He was very happy with the quality and structure of the two we implanted today.

The procedure was quick and painless. This may have been due to the lovely Valium they instruct you to take an hour before the procedure.  The doctors say it relaxes the cervix, but I think they just want all us crazy patients to be chilled out.

They ask that you have a full bladder, so of course I chugged about a gallon of water-quickly blurring the line between “able to hold it” and “gotta go RIGHT NOW!”.  Other than that the transfer was easy.  First you go into the transfer room and your embryos are in an controlled incubator.  They let you look at them under a microscope.  My husband, who is a scientist to the core, thoroughly enjoyed this whole process.  Then, its on to the table for me. Both the doctor and the embryologist are in the room for the procedure.  First, the doctor performs an ultrasound while the embryologist places the embryos into the catheter.  The ultrasound just checks to make sure the uterine lining looks good (He said mine looked really great), and to check to make sure there are no signs of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome.  Once given the all clear, they insert the speculum, which is that 1800’s torture device-like  contraption they use at every gynecologist’s appointment.  Then they insert catheter through the opening of the cervix and into the uterus.  At this point, you can see everything on the ultrasound.  The doctor shows you on the screen where he is going to place the embryos and then BOOM…there they are!  Everyone leaves and you lay on the table for a while-I listened to peaceful music-and then you are outta there.  Coolest part-the embryologist chased us down to give us the petri dish the embryos had grown inside.  He said, “I wanted to give you this! It might be your baby’s first crib.”  How awesome is that! Plus-all the nurses came to give me a hug and wish me luck on the way out.  If you can’t tell, I LOVE my fertility clinic.  Having been at an awful one for two years, I truly appreciate what it feels like to be at a clinic where the staff is competent and cares about you.

So now I am to remain in bed for at least three days.  This is something I can TOTALLY do! 🙂  During that time, those embryos will continue to grow and divide.  Apparently, the uterus is like a peanut butter/jelly sandwich.  The walls are the bread and everything else, including the lining, is like a peanut butter and jelly.  Somewhere, our embryos-those long-awaited for combos of me and my soulmate-are stuck in that gooey goodness.   Science has done all it can and now it us up to fate, destiny, and God on how this thing plays out. For now, we just hope and pray that in a couple of days they lock in and implant. I think I might sleep for a week!  But first…I think I’ll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich 😉

Whew!!! Today was by far the most nerve-racking “wait for the phone call” experience of the whole process. So I will not torture you how I was tortured. Here is my fertilization report on how our little embryos are doing (hint…I am thrilled and happy ;))….

Out of the 8 eggs they took out of me, 7 were mature enough to fertilize.  Out of those 7, 6 fertilized through ICSI with my husband’s fresh not frozen sample (He was thrilled about that).  All six are dividing and growing.  Currently there are….

• 2 5-cell embryos
• 2 4-cell embryos
• 1 6-cell embryo
• 1 2-cell embryo

The two 4 cell are what my embryologist called “the gold standard”.  Embryos get graded to to health, quality, uniformity, structure, and a lot of other stuff.  Of the two 4-cell embryos, one is a grade 4 (the highest), and the other is a grade 3+.  Here is a little visual of a similar embryo at this stage (Not mine)…..

Some of the other ones are Grade 3.  He doesn’t think the 2 cell will make it. So here is the deal…

Tomorrow they will transfer the 2 best looking embryos back into me.  That means I am doing a 3 day transfer instead of a 5.  He will then let the remaining 4 sit until 5 days.  If they make it to the blastocyst stage, they will be frozen to implant at a later date if this cycle doesn’t work (or for baby number 2).  He said we could transfer 2 or 3, but the idea of triplets causes me to get light-headed.  By tomorrow,  the embryos to be transferred most likely will have divided to 8 cells and look something like this….

I go to the clinic tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning. Both our little guys will be gently placed in the uterus to implant.   I am then taking the next week off work and am absolutely planning to stay in bed for the next 5 days! And then it is two weeks until I know if this has worked.   I can’t describe how blessed I feel to have made it this far.  I feel like I have been through a BATTLE.  This has by far been the most emotionally and physically demanding experiences of my life.  I have had around 45 shots, 10 blood draws, 4 botched IV attempts, 8 vaginal ultrasounds, a seizing bladder, an electric beach ball, and am looking forward to two more weeks worth of shots.  My body is bruised with puncture wounds from ass to wrist and collapsed veins. I am swollen, bloated, and exhausted.  I have cried more in the past 2 weeks than my whole life combined (give me a break-Im pumped full of 4 times the hormones).  And all I can say is that if this does actually works, nothing will have ever been more worth it.

Today I am feeling a little better.  Enough that I went to work, but not enough that I can actually DO anything at work.  It feels like I swallowed a little electric beach ball that every now and then decides to give me a ZING-say when I bend down, walk, reach for my water, or type the letter Q :).  But I am definitely feeling better than yesterday.

Now my daily regimen consists of one shot and 3 pills.  The shot is progesterone in oil.  During the second phase of a normal cycle, your body produces progesterone from the follicle that busted out the egg.  This signals the body to not shed the uterine lining, giving that fertilized egg a chance to travel down the fallopian tube and implant in the uterine wall 6-10 days after ovulation.  When your body stops producing progesterone, you start your period.  If you stop producing too early, the embryo does not have time to implant and is just shed with your period.  This is called Luteal Phase Defect, when the second half of the cycle is too short to produce a viable pregnancy.  So during the IVF cycle, they want to make sure this does not happen, so you take progesterone shots starting the day of the retrieval.  They are supposed to hurt and be very sore afterwords, but mine last night was not so bad at all!

We hear back tomorrow between 9am – noon on how all those little fertilized embies are doing.  I am so excited!  Praying for at least three to make it through this process.  We will then find out if we are doing the transfer on Friday or Sunday…I can’t decide which I prefer!  Ready for Phase 2!

Yep…I went with my husbands creepy moniker for the egg retrival..Cue the creepy children of the corn music….

Anyway!  Retrieval was this morning!  All went well.  We arrived about 9 am, were quickly wisked back, and before I knew it I was in looney tune land.  Man, I wish the pre-knockout euphoria phase before being completely knocked out would last just a LITTLE longer.  For me…30 seconds and I am in la la land.  As for the retrieval….drum roll please……8 potentially fertilizable eggs.  I was hoping for at least ten, but all it takes is one!  Since there are 8, they want to maximize the potential of fertilization.  Instead of letting the eggs sit in the dish with the sperm and fertilize, they will actually do a process called ICSI, Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection.  This means they will actually select out the best sperm and inject one into each egg.   Ahhhh science….

I am definitely in more pain than I was expecting.  The cramping was so severe that I started seeing stars and had to be taken to the clinic.  They performed another ultrasound to make sure it wasn’t that dreaded hyperstimulation syndrome, but all looked well.  The doctor stated he had to do the procedure a little differently, and had to go to through the bladder to get to the eggs in the left ovary.  So my bladder got poked with a big ol’ needle, which is most likely why I am experiencing so much cramping. After a few hours of lying perfectly still,  I am starting to feel better.

Now we wait for our fertilization report either tomorrow afternoon or Thursday morning.  They will let us know how things are progressing and if they recommend transferring them back into me @ 3 days or 5 days post retrieval (Friday or Sunday).  Keep your fingers and toes crossed that these little guys keep chugging right along!

My egg retrieval is tomorrow at 10 am.  This has caused some sort of warp in the space-time continuum, where minutes are now hours and time has slowed down to a near halt.  I look at the clock-swearing that an hour has gone by, and it has only been 10 minutes!  But this too shall pass, and we will be on our way tomorrow!

The trigger shot went great last night.  The biggest needle and intramuscular, this was somehow the least painful.  Walking is difficult.  I am doing more of a waddle.  Very, very tired all the time.  I ended up taking a half day at work and nap time was my friend.  Got the call from my nurse that everything was looking great, my e2 level jumped to around 3400-a nice big number, but not TOOO big (We don’t that painful hyperstimulation syndrome).

So tomorrow I will go in, they will give me some feel good anesthesia, and then the retrieval begins.  This involves going in through the vaginal wall and sucking the contents of any good size follicles out.  That fluid should contain an egg that was in each follicle.  They will figure out how many are mature and give us a number! Those guys will then go into the petri dish of love and let the magic begin.

So I am not a betting girl (except when in Vegas!), but my bet is that they are going to get 10 eggs.  My husband bets 13.   My mother-in-law says 14!  (weigh in Mom and everybody).  We shall see!  I am feeling very positive and ready for this next step!

So after a rough day yesterday, we will finally be taking the trigger shot tonight at 11 pm.  Friday night, they halved my medication because I was responding so well.  Well, ultrasound and E2 yesterday showed a drop in some of the follicle size AND a drop in my E2 (from around 2000 to 1800).  The doctor decided to increase me to 150 menapur and 150 follistim and bring me back in this morning.  It felt like getting to the top of a mountain and then riding a semi-landslide back down.  I made myself get a lot of rest and drink lots of water last night.  Today, another ultrasound and I prayed the whole way there it would be my last one-in a good way.  I seem to be back on track…My follicles measured: 19.8, 23, 16, 19.22, 19, 16 on the right and 21.5, 21.5, 25 (WOW–Too big) 13, and 14.5. My E2 levels rose back up to 2400.

The nurse just called with my instructions for the day.  It is officially TRIGGER DAY, which is the last step before the retrieval.  The trigger shot is called Novarel and is composed of hCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin).  Its purpose is to initiate the final maturation of the eggs in the follicles.  They also trigger the egg to release from the follicle wall and start floating around in the fluid, ready to ovulate (burst from the follicle).  I take another Ganirelix to prevent that bursting from taking place.  Trigger time is 11 pm tonight.  Then, no more medication or shots!  At least for a couple of days.  Tuesday is my retrieval day!!! I can’t believe I am already at retrieval.  In some ways this has flown by, and in some ways it feels that it has take FOREVER.  I am looking for the few days between retrieval and transfer when my body is officially off duty.  A chance to relax, rest, and ramp up for the next step.  Feeling exhausted right now…so I am off for a lovely afternoon of couch time and some Parks and Recreation watching!

Blood results are in..E2 levels at 1911!  Jumping up!  The nurse said things were looking great!  Last time she said “good”  now it is “great”!   They brought my meds back down to the original 75 follistim, 75 menapur, and the Ganirelix (They don’t want me to overstimulate).  I think my doc just wants to give those few laggers one more day to get in the game.   ANOTHER ultrasound tomorrow and I am willing to bet my favorite pair of cowboy boots that I take the trigger tomorrow night.  And boy am I starting to feel it.  Feels like I am walking around with two water balloons in my lower belly.  Tonight, you shall find me on the couch watching some sort of lovely TV marathon.  I can’t wait for tomorrow to get here!

Today I had what I hope will be my final ultrasound before the retrieval.  Lookin’ GOOD!!! Lefty the Troublesome Ovary is making a real comeback.  The nurse was able to see six follicles on that side @ 19 mm, 18.84 mm, 18.75 mm, 17.9 mm, 14mm, and 9 mm.  The right side continued to chug along with six follicles at 18.69 mm, 18.63 mm, 17.1mm, 16.5 mm, 12.5 mm, and 12.2 mm. Looks like we will get at the very least 9 mature eggs (Plus the other ones might catch up or they may be some more hiding somewhere)!  Happy!  This process has me constantly amazed at what our bodies and minds are capable of doing.  I feel so grateful that I live in a time where options such as IVF are available to me, and cannot imagine the heartache women faced 20-30 years ago when the answer to infertility was just “Sorry..There is nothing we can do”. 

Now, I wait for the word on what my doctor wants to do (3 pm phone call).  I, of course, hounded the nurse for her best guess.  She felt the doctor would instruct me to take the stimulants 1 more night to try to give the little guys one last chance to catch up.  I would then take my ovulation trigger on Saturday night and have the retrieval Monday morning!  Wow!  For however stressful this process has been, I feel like it has FLOWN by.  My husband, however, would adamantly disagree.  Last night he just kept repeating, “I am ready for this part to be over.  Whatever happens next, I am ready for this part to be over!” He has been a trooper though.  It must be such a nerve-racking experience for the guys too.  He knows he needs to give a good sample on retrieval day and he also knows that his best samples come from 3-4 days of abstaining.  But you can’t plan for that because each day is a “anybody’s guess” on what day the retrieval will actually be!  Since he is a guy that likes to plan and work in absolutes, these little unknowns are causing big time stress.  But, like I keep comforting him, we have a totally PERFECT sample on back-up in case the one that day is a bust.  And I mean PERFECT.  250,000 million, great morphology and motility, and very little DNA fragmentation.

We are getting so close!  Then it is on to phase 2!  Retrieval….or as my husband refers to it..The Harvest.  Sounds a little too Children of the Corn for me…..