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Gambling with the Moon

~ A journey through infertility, IVF, and hope.

Gambling with the Moon

Category Archives: Parenthood

Reflections on my 8 month old!

25 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by gamblingwiththemoon in IVF Success, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

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Who knew that this would be such a fun age!  I have watched my little bundle of sleeping, eating, and crying start to grow into this amazing little human right in front of my eyes.  His little personality -or should I say BIG personality- is starting to really shine through, and it is a miracle to watch.  Here are some things about Tobie…

1)  He has the most amazing laugh I have ever heard.  If I could bottle it and give it to the world, the world would have no choice but to smile back.  It is a throw-your-head-back belly laugh that crinkles with mischief.  It is my favorite thing in the whole world.  The first thing that ever made him laugh was blowing zerberts on his tummy.  My husband and I had such a surprised reaction when we heard it, that he immediately started crying :).  Since then, the word “Icky” seem to make him fall into hysterics, throwing trash in the trash can, spitting a small rubber toy in his face, telling the dog to do anything, and singing Pop goes the Weasel.  Ohhh…and anytime Mommy says “No”…that seems to be just the funniest thing in the world!  I know…I’m in for it!  But whenever it happens, it is beautiful.  I basically spend my day trying to see what will bring that laugh and toothy grin about.  Tobie is also funny.  He tries to make you laugh with faces or the ever famous pull your hair game.  He also thinks it is hilarious to open his mouth and bounce his face up and down on your belly making popping noises.

2)  He is determined. His dad says he gets this from me.  He is curious.  I say he gets this from his dad.  Determined to explore, to crawl, to stand…to stand with toys in each hand.  I can tell he will be an explorer, a discoverer, an inquisitive soul. He is most happy with a box of previously unexplored items.  Each item is picked up, turned over and examined, and then tossed vehemently to the ground to empty his hands for the next object.

3)  He is intense…Tobie takes things seriously.  Funny things do not just elicit a giggle…the elicit a head thrown back belly laugh.  He is not a baby who will “quietly cry it out” .  If he is upset, you will know it…and to ignore it will only result in more determination to have his feelings known. He fights sleep, wanting to continue his mastering of standing and opening his favorite toy boxes…until he finally winds down like a motor…sounds and all.   He is silly at home but when out in public he “drinks it all in” with a serious little look on his face.  I have had more than one cashier (more like a million) remark at how serious, how intense, or what an old soul he was.  I think his wheels are always turning.

4) He loves to interact…with the world, with the people around him.  If taken into a group where people are sitting in a circle, he will immediately crawl to the middle, plop down, and just soak it all in.  He loves to watch people talk and mull over what their face is doing.

5)  He is a sweet, loving amazing kid.  The minute his eyes open in the morning and he sees his Mom and Dad, his face breaks into a sleepy smile.  And in precious, rare moments where all his energy has run out, he sighs and rests his head on your shoulder.  He tries to share is snacks with you and brings stuffed animals over for you to hold.  He instinctively bops to the beat of music and loves to sing songs (or at least listen to songs being sung).  He fearlessly crawls all over our 100 lb German Shepherd, pulling ears and fur in the midst of sloppy kisses.

The world is a new and beautiful place for him, and through him our world is a new and beautiful place.

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Buddies

The Things I will miss…..Written when I was 8 months pregnant back in June 2013

11 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by gamblingwiththemoon in IVF Success, Our Story, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

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IVF success, pregnancy

1)  How every rose had its own unique smell early in my pregnancy….it was beautiful and gave me a whole new perception of the world around me.  That was one of the first signs I knew I was pregnant.  Smell.  The smell of metal in your dad’s garage.  I could smell it from the back bedroom.

2)  How everyone wanted to give me or make me food…Growing a baby really does take a village and I loved how everyone wanted to care for us in their own way!

3)  Long, hot showers.  I know I will still have these, but I don’t think they will ever hold the same value as they did while I was pregnant.  It was one of the few things that made me feel better.  Sometimes three a day!  I think you must have liked the sound of the water.  It became our family hang out place.  Ubie, me and the dogs would just hang out in the bathroom and talk.

4) How much I loved Peanut Butter, Orange Juice, oranges, Milk, and Lemon Vinaigrette Dressing, and Zoe’s Greek Salads.  Gyros, garlic, and pork were a no fly zone however.

5)  How your daddy called me his Beluga Whale, because that is the cutest whale- but I think that one is going to stick around.  He was the best pregnancy husband ever-caring, considerate, comforting, and more than willing to get me anything I even thought to need, no matter what time of night.

6)  How he would talk to you through my stomach. I’m going to miss talking to you too.  Talking to you was like sharing secrets with a childhood best friend.  Only we got it.  You would tumble around when I would laugh.  I’d like to think you were laughing with me!

7)  My vivid dreams!  So real I would wake up and feel like I had gotten to have adventures with old friends and old places- lions in Africa, long walks on white sandy beaches, mischief in high school…too cool.

8) Feeling you flutter around for the first time.   I was sitting at my desk at work.  Of course, I thought I was imagining things.  Now, at 8 months, there is no denying it!  The little flutters have turned into kicks, twists and ripples.  I am  still amazed by what our bodies are able to do.

9)  This long, lustrous, shiny hair and glowing skin!  Somebody should bottle this magic!

10) Listening to your heartbeat on our fetal heart rate monitor.  In the beginning, I would try for hours to find it.  There it would be-this fluttering hummingbird of a heart beat.  Just a whisper amongst all the wooshing inside me.  Now, no matter where I put the wand, your heartbeat is there.  Strong and vital.  The heart rate monitor brought comfort to me many a long night between OB visits.

11) Being a “we”.  For the past 8 months, I have not been a me, I have been a we.  I am going to miss that.  We have been partners on this great adventure and shared this space together.  Caring for you, protecting you,  has been in my every thought.  For this one little snippet of my life, I get to be part of this miracle.  To be not only myself, but also part of something much greater.  Life.  We are truly amazing.

Over the Moon

07 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by gamblingwiththemoon in Infertility, IVF Success, Our Story, Parenthood, Pregnancy

≈ 1 Comment

Words do not really work in times like these.  So much has happened over the past year that it intimidates me to try to capture it all.  There are a million tiny stories wrapped up in the bigger one, but I am ready to start capturing these new moments.  So here we go….4 little words sum it up….

WE HAVE A SON!

I can not express what it means to be able to type these 4 little words.  I reread this blog today and felt the pain, and anguish, and determination of the heart who wrote them all over again.  These 4 little words represent everything we fought so hard for.   They represent joy, hope and life!  They represent the end of one of the darkest chapters of my life and the beginning of a  blazingly bright one. Rereading this blog was painful…yet cathartic.  I just want to go back and hug the woman who wrote these words-that determined version of me- and tell her to hang in there, that wonderful things are on the horizon, that it is all going to be SOOOOO worth it (She would probably want to slap me 😉 ).  I am also so proud of her for having the strength to keep going, because now we get to have the most amazing gift…

WE HAVE A SON!

He is an amazing, determined, curious, loving little 6 month old, and I never imagined I could love something so much!.  We is worth, beyond measure, every day of those long 5 years we fought for him to get here.  I want to write all about his story-from the IVF cycle to his birth, but for now I will end with those 4 little words that have forever changed our life…

We have a son….and we are over the moon with joy.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Recent Posts

  • Another Roll of the Dice
  • FlashBack 11/15/2012: 6weeks 1 day: Hearts all a flutter
  • Saltwater Taffy: The Saline Ultrasound
  • Gambler’s Anonymous
  • Reflections on my 8 month old!

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